Once upon a time, I was a train wreck.
Until I found what I thought was a remedy in a mysterious man in a pool hall where, at the time, I was tending bar. He seemed strong, different, and safe, so despite my father’s rules to never date a man of this breed (a Navy SEAL), I married him. I hitched my broken down life to his sense of stability in hopes of better days. And there were many better days. In fact, life was pretty awesome for a while. But the duct tape I had used to put myself back together was wearing thin, so, inevitably, wreckage was on the horizon.
And then during a night of insomnia I heard a distinct voice in my head that said “GO!” I’m pretty sure it was God, because it sure as heck wasn’t my voice. At the time I thought the voice was referring to India, a place I had wanted to go for some time, so I went to India. But when I got home, I reconsidered God’s powerful message and decided I had been wrong, She wanted me to go to Hawaii. Simple mistake. So I saddled up my trusty bull, walked into the china shop that was my marriage, and wreaked havoc. Fortunately my ex had a bull too, so …even stevens:)
I landed in Hawaii with a suitcase and a handfull of cash, and magic happened. I got sober. I taught a lot of yoga. I surfed a lot of waves. I never wore shoes. Or makeup. I ate, like, a million lilikoi. I surfed under a full moon the night after a tsunami. I made the most amazing friends. I dated a few interesting people. I found kinship with countless sea turtles. I cried a lot. I turned too many rainbows into signs. I stood on my bed more times than I can count while I panicked about yet another centipede that was trying to kill me.
And then it happened, I went to a party and locked eyes with a super handsome bald man across the room. I’m pretty sure it was love at first sight, but it could have also been the fact that we were the only two people there not on magic mushrooms.
Now, ReeduKate isn’t going to be a sappy love story blog. It’s just that it’s been seven years and here I am lying in bed next to the same handsome bald man, except he’s sleeping quite peacefully while I’m staring at the ceiling thinking about a phone call I received earlier in the day from a writer friend of mine. My writer friend is working on a project about mid-life crises and he wanted to know if I wanted to be involved.
Um, what? Why would I want to be involved in a project about people going through mid life crises? I am super young and youthful.
Although, I am nearing fo…fo…for…, well, a new decade, and January 1 is right around the corner, so I suppose I could use this time as an opportunity for healthy change.
Not a crisis. Change. At least that’s what I am telling myself. And, besides, I got rid of my bull.
So ReEduKate is my change. It’s my means of letting go of an outdated version of myself in order to make way for the fuller version of me. It’s me following my joy…..and my dysfunction, my awesomeness, my aha-moments, my passions, my failures, and my victories. And I’m no longer packaging it in new-agey language of self-righteousness, because, honestly, I find it exhausting. I just want to write. Writing brings me joy. And I want to write about anything and everything. And since so much of my life seems to be about learning and unlearning and relearning, “ReEduKate” seemed like a great name.
Now, I’m sure some of my words will still include yoga because it’s been woven into the fiber of my being. It’s part of me. But there will also be humor, and pain, and poetry, and short stories I’m working on for other projects. Beyond that, I’m not sure what will come of this, but what I can promise is that it will be authentically me. Love it or hate it. But I hope you love it.
And if you hate it, well, namaste.